My Dyslexic Spectrum
This weeks Spectrum Bloggers Network ‘Topic Tuesday’ is on the theme of ‘spectrum’. I had thought about discussing the visual spectrum, but I think I covered something very similar in Dyslexia and Me: What you see, What I see so instead I thought I would talk about the spectrum of colours and how they link to my dyslexia.
Red is often associated with anger. Anger is definitely an emotion I’ve felt a lot over the years. I really struggled through school. Although they picked up that there was a problem when I was in high school, they refused to have me diagnosed because of cost. When I was struggling in my 5th year and asking for help on an almost weekly basis, I was told basically to work harder, that there was no reason why they’d let me study English over two years after my good grades from 4th year. I’ve had a lot of resentment for my high school and a lot of the teachers who refused to help me. I know I should let go of it now it’s almost half my lifetime ago, but I am still very bitter about the whole experience.
Orange is the colour of the overlay I have been using through university. All my exam papers are printed on orange paper because it makes it easier for me to read than black on white paper. A lot of dyslexic people find it easier to read on different coloured paper, but I have a lot of visual problems with scotopic sensitivity syndrome too. I did start off with a rose-coloured overlay in high school, but my colour has changed. I work better with blue on my computer screen though.
Yellow is the colour of Pukka Pads I buy to write my notes on for university. I also have different coloured pens for each subject; red for history and green for Celtic. It’s a far softer colour on my eyes and I prefer to use it to white pads of paper. I didn’t think it would help me and that it was just a gimmick, but I have found it very beneficial.
I am often green with envy at my friends who chomp their way through books. Since I have been at university I have heard a lot of friends discussing books they’ve read and find myself sat twiddling my thumbs. I mean, I’ve read books, but it’s never been something I’ve never found pleasurable. I’ve decided to join the GoodReads social network type page thing to try to encourage myself to read more during my year gap from studies. I’ll see how long this enthusiasm to read lasts! Probably not very long knowing me!
There are times where I do get very low because of my dyslexia. Or maybe it’s not because of dyslexia but because of attitudes from others towards it. There are times where I’ve been made to feel extremely stupid for spelling errors or because I couldn’t read a word out loud. I feel blue when I’m called lazy or stupid. It’s a horrible feeling, especially when I know I’m not stupid! Being lazy on the other hand… Well… I can be. I do like my sleep I must admit. I do find my eyes get very tired when I do a lot of work. I think if there was a better understanding of what it entails, people may be a little bit more understanding of just how difficult some aspects can be especially within academia and the workplace.
I tend to associate the colour purple with magic. If I had a magic wand would I get rid of my dyslexia? No, it’s what makes me who I am. If I had a magic wand I’d try to make people more accepting and understanding of the positives of dyslexia as well as knowing how much of a struggle it can be… But I don’t really think I need a magic wand for that. I think there are plenty of people with dyslexia starting to become more vocal on the internet through blogs discussing their experiences. The magic of the internet.